What Keeps You Awake at Night?

Have you ever heard of a Thought-Train? I find myself educating people about this at least twice a week. I’ll set the scene- You are lying in bed ready to sink slowly into a beautiful, sleepy trance. You have plans for an 8-hour, non-stop sleep party. THEN suddenly, ALL ABOARD. Your brain begins to dump all the chaos of the day. Or week. That snafu from 10th grade begins to creep in. One thought leads to another, and another, and another and before you know it, you’re 15 minutes into a catastrophic hypothetical situation riding on the fast track to Panic-Ville. You are not alone. This exact thing plagues even the most collected person at some point or another. I’m here to tell you there are some SIMPLE things you can immediately explore and practice to help bring back that sweet, sweet, sleep into reality.

1. Has your bedroom become a trigger for being awake? During COVID, many of us began working from home and many never left. This means not only is there zero physical disconnect from work, but now your home has literally become your work-place. An easy fix: separate, separate, separate. NEVER (I’ll repeat this) NEVERRRR work from your bedroom if you experience work-related stress. EVER. Work from the couch. The kitchen. The hallway floor. Just please, not your bedroom. Do you lay in your bed anticipating, “just another night of no sleep. Here we go again!”? If your room has become a trigger, #6 and #7 were made for you!

2. Do you need to dump? No, not poop. As our brains begin to calm down, we need to release the stresses of the day. For many of us, this is the FIRST time we have stopped moving since we woke up (can I get a heck yeah? from the parents out there???). We have to process our day’s event. I recommend writing everything down that needs to get out. Just write it down. It sounds silly, but I promise it works.

3. Are you actually tired? Many people settle into bed before they are tired with hopes of drifting off to bed “early”. Explore this idea honestly with yourself. Don’t even try to sleep before you are actually tired. Don’t even try to lay in bed before 10:00pm if you wake up at 7:00am. Most of the time, you just aren’t ready for sleep.

4. Night routine: Yes- your brain will actually begin to expect sleepy time when you train yourself through healthy habit making. We do this form newborns (think routines). Why aren’t we continuing to do this for ourselves in adulthood? I support anything that you’ll do every night. Shower. Skin care. Teeth care. Foot care. Anything is fair game as long as it’s calming and consistent. Fun fact- People who get sleepy while they read were likely read to sleep as babies and young children.

5. Set the stage for sleep: Is noise a problem? Get a sound machine- I highly recommend the Dohm (I’ll link it). I personally own 4 of these. My kids have them in their rooms. You’ll see them in my office. They’re the best. I get no money for promoting this, so trust that this is an honest suggestion. Is light an issue? How about a cozy eye mask? Temperature-sensitive? Set that thermostat to heaven. Don’t watch a murder documentary an hour before bed. Don’t go for a 10K bike ride either. Let’s be realistic with how we are preparing our sleep stage.

6. Approach sleep with confidence: The time has come. Your feet are lotioned. Your teeth are brushed. Your house is 72 degrees. Your sound machine is whirring. It’s 10:45p. You’re ready. Practice clearing your mind as you settle in. Each time a thought pops in imagine a stop sign and go to your Island In The Sun (an imagined place of calm and tranquility). I love the 10 breath method to clear my mind, personally. I’ve never made it to 10. To practice this, breath in and out only focusing on your belly rise and fall- this is 1. Do it again, that’s 2. If your mind drifts to a thought other than your belly or chest rising and falling, start back at one.

7. Stop trying to make fetch [sleep] happen! If you are not asleep in 20-30 minutes. Get out of bed. Go wash dishes. Fold laundry. Do something not involving your phone, tablet, or technology device. Try again in about 15-20 minutes.

8. Don’t get on your phone: This is stimulating. Unless you are listening to ASMR or the Calm App, scrolling through your Facebook feed is likely not going to lull you into a slumber. You can read about screen time and brains if you’d like. There’s plenty of research out there, so I won’t bore you with what you have likely heard.

9. Try some of those frilly things: Bubble bath. Lavender oil. Sounds of nature. Chamomile tea. Silk pillowcases. Why not? You’ll never know if something works for you or not unless you try.

Sleep is at the foundation of our most basic needs. Our mood and how we approach the day is correlated closely with our sleep quality. Whether you are struggling with insomnia, chronic sleep loss due to life circumstances, or even the occasional restless night, please take some time to explore your sleep habits and incorporate one new sleep-friendly activity. You may just find something helps more than you expect.

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